In honor of International Joke Day, which apparently is a real thing, we’ve gathered together a few of our favorite one-liners to help brighten your day and arguably make you the funniest person in the room. #rimshot
• I got fired from my job at the bank today. A customer came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
• How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for his birthday? He felt his presents.
• Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward. That’s just how I roll.
• What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? “Robin…get in the car.”
• Imagine in the country switched from pounds to kilograms overnight. There would be mass confusion!
And in honor of our beloved Stanley Cup Champions, the Colorado Avalanche, we offer this little gem:
• We watched hockey before it was cool. They were basically swimming.